dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
