I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
