My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
