A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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