yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
