My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
