Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
