I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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