They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
