I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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