i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
