Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
