i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
