We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
wow bdsm is so cute
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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