Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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