fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
