Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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