If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
