So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so explain again why im purple
no
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
