Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
