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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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