who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
