Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
