Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
