i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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