i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
3pm strippers are depressing
Holy sore nipples Batman
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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