If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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