I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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