and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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