Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
