Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
