are you still at the devil's house?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
