We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
