so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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