Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
