It's a beautiful day for a hangover
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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