Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
