You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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