What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
