i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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