I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
