farters have to be the big spoon...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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