i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
