You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
