There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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