so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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