you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so let's talk penis.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Green mimosas i think yes
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
