i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
