your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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