i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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